How to be a Hip Freshman in Nashville: The Know

Posted by Luke on Thursday, September 3, 2009 · View Comments

[Ed. note: This is part 3 of a 3-part series. Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here.]

At this point, you know what to wear and how to act. Now you must know what to know.

PART III: THE KNOW

(cc) Flickr user Joel Bedford

Gnarly Gnashville gnowledge can be divided into a gnumber of subcategories. The following is a handy study guide. It may be prudent to keep this taped to your mirror for a few weeks.

Music:

Take a look at the city you live in. Music is oxygen. It’s important to always know a little bit more about music than everybody else. Here are some starting points:

Animal Collective is the best band ever (for the time being).
Anyone with the word “bear” in their name is worth knowing right now. See: Grizzly Bear, Panda Bear, Minus the Bear, Berenstain Bears, Bear Grylls.
You are required to adore The Beatles and Radiohead. Be prepared to discuss favorite songs/albums. (Hint: In Rainbows is not your favorite Radiohead album.)
Vampire Weekend is so last year.
Significant local bands: JEFF the Brotherhood, The Kopecky Family Band, Shirock.
Need further assistance determining which bands are cool and relevant? Make Pitchfork.com your homepage.

Movies:

(cc) Flickr user Mockstar

Independent films featuring unwashed actors with undiscovered talent and indiscernible plotlines are CROOSH.

The Royal Tenenbaums, Rushmore, The Life Aquatic…and anything else by Wes Anderson. He is Yoda.
The Science of Sleep, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, the White Stripes video with the Legos…and anything else by Michel Gondry. He is the other Yoda.
Go to the Belcourt. Anything shown at the Belcourt is cool.
A note about Garden State: You need to have seen this movie, but now you must roll your eyes at it. You now realize that the film is not the triumph it was once touted to be. Zach Braff, put your scrubs back on.

Books:
Scholarliness is next to hipness, which is next godliness. Think of yourself as an artsy intellectual now. Read books.

Your first reading assignment: The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. You will hear your own soul speaking from the pages. (Unfortunately, six months from now you cannot like this book anymore. It will seem “immature.”)
Once you have moved on from Wallflowerdom, you may begin Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger. Make sure to quote Salinger on your Facebook.
Finally, you must familiarize yourself with the Literary Hipster Triumvirate: Dave Eggers, David Sedaris, and Chuck Klostermann.

(cc) Flickr user CarbonNYC

Sports:
Forget about sports.

Miscellaneous Tidbits:

Know who Whit Smith is. Facebook him or something.
Learn how to pronounce “Demonbreun.” (Hint: It’s not “Demon Bruin.”)
Find out where the Moran rope swing is.

At this point, we’ve told you all that we can. You’ve got the Look, the Rec, and the Know. Now, you must venture out on your own. If you get lost, lick your finger and hold it in the air. The wind will guide you.